KALONZO`S GRATUITOUS PROPHESY KEEPS HIM WAGGING HOPEFUL.

So Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka has said that come 2012, he will be in state house. Of course, not as comptroller or those other jobs whose occupiers have to constantly contend with the slaps, insults and tantrums from the most powerful woman found therein. No. He will be there as the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces of Kenya. This is to say that he will be the fourth President of the Republic of Kenya.

When he missed the presidency in 2007 by a wide margin, he embarked on a journey to endear himself to President Kibaki with a view to scoring crucial points in the ensuing succession politics. Noting Kalonzo`s loyalty, President Kibaki never hesitated to appoint him his chief errand boy. And true to his calling, Kalonzo has unquestioningly and faithfully run errands for President Kibaki sometimes at the risk of even Kalonzo`s own political supporters interpreting his behavior as consistently and dangerously taking a sycophantic slant.

Kalonzo has remained unbothered by such criticism. This is because he has always seen himself as sufficiently philanthropic as is demonstrated in his tireless work in aid of the Ocampo six. At the international level, he has undoubtedly cut a niche for himself as a master of shuttle diplomacy. Even though his efforts are yet to bear any fruits, we cannot begrudge him. Of course, we all know how Uncle Sam and the rest of the big boys dislike those who want to flaunt their diplomatic prowess in their faces. Nevertheless, suffice it to say that Kalonzo`s has demonstrated beyond any reasonable doubt that he can die for his “brother” and in politics such gestures rarely go unrewarded.

Given that those who have been summoned by the ICC will not be in position to have their names on the 2012 presidential ballot, it is incumbent upon the orphaned political turfs to look around for an heir apparent. I imagine that the VPs soothing dirges will neither be unfamiliar nor unacceptable to them. Surely, he will not be accused of shedding more tears than the bereaved. It is only ingrates and those with short memory spans who cannot reciprocate such a kind gesture. Kenyans are nowhere near such a description. This is why the VP is wagging hopeful that he will bag all the votes in these orphaned turfs. That is understandable. After all, in Africa don`t we say that “If death were not there, how else would the inheritor get his riches”?

But philanthropy is not the only quality that the VP has. The VPs religiosity stands unrivalled. It is no secret that the VP communicates with the gods in mediums completely out of the range of the ordinary minds. Given that Kenyans are notoriously religious he is sure to get votes from a huge chunk of the electorate. I guess you recall when he prophetically said in 2007 that he will pass in their midst and none will see him? The strange thing is that the prophecy never came to be. But none of us had the guts to question the gods` mouthpiece. May be the gods had some beef with the VP and that is why the prophecy was temporarily frozen. Who knows, may be the ice has since thawed and the VP will soon be matching to state house unseen as earlier prophesied. Perhaps this explains why the VP is re-energized and has even found time amid a tight shuttle diplomacy schedule to dust and adorn his prophetic regalia and traverse parts of the country prophesying that “his 2012 miraculous match to state house is unstoppable.”

But perhaps like me, when time is ripe you may find solace in the words of George Elliot (1819-1890) who said that “among all forms of mistakes, prophecy is the most gratuitous.” You see, with prophecy it is never important whether the prophet has none of the gentleman`s instincts when strutting about its fulfillment.