After last Saturday`s rally at Posta grounds in Bungoma, Eugene Wamalwa finally made good his threat of ditching Ford Kenya. Propped by honorable Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto, he just fell short of revealing his new political party. Grapevine has it that he intends to sojourn in New Ford Kenya where a hero’s welcome awaits him. I must admit that this sounds too good an offer. Yet, we are warned that when the offer is too good, one must think twice lest his celebrations are quickly drowned out by the Devil that is in the details.
To begin with, Eugene has to convince the populace of Kakamega County that he was not part of the political elites that hounded the likes of Soita Shitanda and Bonny Khalwale out of Ford Kenya in the months leading to the 2007 general election. I have a hunch that the latter have never gotten over the 2007 sour grapes and they may just be looking for an opportunity to revenge. Remember that revenge is a dish best served cold. Outwardly, they may put on charming smiles while they are really hurting inside. Even if perchance the officials of the New Ford Kenya bear no grudge against Eugene, I am not sure that they will be so desperate as to agree to give him more prominence over themselves.
There is also a growing perception among the electorate that Eugene is a quitter. This term carries with it a negative connotation in that quitters are known to be driven by their short term political interests as opposed to the general good of the electorate. Unlike his elder brother, the late Vice President Wamalwa Kijana, Eugene`s behavior is a testament of a man who is impatient with himself. When he failed to secure the Ford Kenya ticket as the parliamentary candidate during a by-election in Saboti constituency that was occasioned by the demise of his brother, he quit Ford Kenya for Republican Party of Kenya (RPK) where he unsuccessfully launched his maiden contest. In 2007, he quietly returned to Ford Kenya. He succeeded in taking the Saboti Parliamentary seat on a PNU coalition ticket.
Four years later, realizing that he cannot competitively secure Ford Kenya`s nomination as a presidential candidate, he has again decided to jump ship. However, because of his penchant for quitting parties especially in the face of competition, the electorate`s trust in Eugene is diminishing by the day. Eugene Wamalwa will thus have an uphill task convincing the Bukusu populace to cross over from Ford Kenya to New Ford Kenya.
Consequently, it does not make sense for Eugene to join New Ford Kenya when his presence in that party will not add any value. Clearly, there is very little he can do to enhance New Ford Kenya`s popularity. At most, Eugene will only be regarded as New Ford Kenya`s cheer leader. The only guarantee he will have of not being trampled upon is if he does not allow his ambition to be in direct conflict with the political ambitions of the “owners” of New Ford Kenya.
Eugene may find solace in Chinua Achebe`s “A Man of The People” by saying that he is not a fool to spit out the juicy morsel that good fortune has put in his mouth. But to the electorate, he is simply a man who does not mind riding on the misfortunes of some of the Ocampo six. Besides, there is a perception in the public domain that some of Ocampo six are barons of impunity therefore any politician who intends to be a presidential aspirant associating with them runs the risk of being seen as part and parcel of the evil axis that the electorate wants to get rid of. As the saying goes, “if one walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then, he must surely be duck.”
But of more concern now to Eugene is the theory gaining currency that he is not his own man. Pundits opine that by being publicly propped by people with questionable characters to the presidency, Eugene seems to be reclining to the fact that even as a president he will be a true regent or a prisoner to forces of impunity. No idea is as repulsive as this for an electorate that is yearning for positive change.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
LET NOT IMPUNITY SMOTHER THE NEW CONSTITUTION.
Today, I speak of those great patriots present and those departed, who little impressed by the audacity of the barbarians gallantly fought for the second liberation of this country regardless of their stations in life. Many among them were maimed in the struggle for the expansion of the democratic space. When death reaped one defender after the next, there was none among them who through cowardice refused to fill the gap. I salute them all.
For all those patriots departed, I know that you must be tossing and turning in your graves in impatient anger like a blood-pudding seething over a fire. You must be cursing at the site of political madness in the form of violent debauchery. I know that it pains you to see some callous individuals want to reduce Kenya to a collection of tribes and not a united Nation as you had earlier envisaged. You must be holding us in contempt as you witness the bile and treachery by some in our midst who are busy enticing our brothers and sisters to dance themselves lame to the drums of phantom wars.
You must be appalled that these individuals want to cling on the president`s coat in the hope that he will not oblige them to step aside from their lofty political portfolios. These individuals still imagine that on the balance of scale, the word of the president is still greater than the very constitution that he swore to protect. We have seen them talking tough and throwing tantrums at their imaginary political foes. Their words are like sugar coated poisonous pills. When such words are wholesomely and unquestioningly swallowed, they have the effect of creating bovine obedience in us so that we do not demand of their resignation in light of the grievous charges preferred against them.
You must be seething with anger that we conscripted individuals who were part and parcel of the undemocratic, illiberal and repressive political regimes to usher in the new political dispensation. I now must admit that this was but a mere historical accident. In our excitement we threw caution in the wind and completely forgot that like obligate anaerobes these individuals would never appreciate the fresh political air blowing across the country.
We completely forgot that as scions of the old political order they can only thrive in mischief. Indeed, they have employed all the dirty tricks in their odious book to cover each other`s muck. For that is what they know best-staying deep down under the rabbit`s fur. They have deliberately refrained from any kind of direct ideological challenge to the status quo. They prefer politics of appeasement and aggrandizement to the principles of democracy as enshrined in our constitution.
Take for instance those who have been quick at flaunting the term “sovereignty” as a smokescreen to avoiding justice. They have displayed vigor in seeking for a deferral and possibly a referral at a later date but they have largely been unwilling in demanding that the same suspects resign from their public offices in line with the requirement of our new constitution. The huge pot holes in their reasoning cannot be gainsaid. It is amazing at how they can conveniently forget that under the new constitution, a precedent has already been set. We have seen honorable Moses Wetang`ula, Henry Kosgei and William Ruto resign from their portfolios under circumstances less grievous. Any exception to this constitutional requirement is not only a case of double standards but an act of impunity as well.
I can see you shedding tears of despondency because our motherland is being treated to the verbal wallop of some sycophantic leaders. That the verbal hemorrhage of our leaders is too stupendous is an indication of the extent they are willing to go in propping up impunity. Indeed, some leaders have been heard saying that should one of the suspects be ineligible to contest the presidency come 2012 owing to The Hague trials then the presidential election must be postponed. This is balderdash.
To them, it matters less if the said suspect is found guilty as charged. They want to make us believe that the country will not move forward for the period such a person would be incarceration. Does it mean that such a person is more important than the sum total of all Kenyans? My fellow patriotic Kenyans, I take it that you are sincere, honest and brave enough to render a verdict according to your convictions, beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt.
To our departed patriots, let me assuage your feelings. We owe you the duty of safeguarding the well being of this great Nation. I assure you that the seeds of patriotism that you sow in us have germinated and we shall faithfully water them to fruition. Like Emma Goldman, we dare say that “We are but the atoms in the incessant human struggle towards the light that shines in the darkness—the Ideal of economic, political and spiritual liberation of mankind!” We shall surely have a victory for truth and justice over those standing in the way of our new constitutional order.
For all those patriots departed, I know that you must be tossing and turning in your graves in impatient anger like a blood-pudding seething over a fire. You must be cursing at the site of political madness in the form of violent debauchery. I know that it pains you to see some callous individuals want to reduce Kenya to a collection of tribes and not a united Nation as you had earlier envisaged. You must be holding us in contempt as you witness the bile and treachery by some in our midst who are busy enticing our brothers and sisters to dance themselves lame to the drums of phantom wars.
You must be appalled that these individuals want to cling on the president`s coat in the hope that he will not oblige them to step aside from their lofty political portfolios. These individuals still imagine that on the balance of scale, the word of the president is still greater than the very constitution that he swore to protect. We have seen them talking tough and throwing tantrums at their imaginary political foes. Their words are like sugar coated poisonous pills. When such words are wholesomely and unquestioningly swallowed, they have the effect of creating bovine obedience in us so that we do not demand of their resignation in light of the grievous charges preferred against them.
You must be seething with anger that we conscripted individuals who were part and parcel of the undemocratic, illiberal and repressive political regimes to usher in the new political dispensation. I now must admit that this was but a mere historical accident. In our excitement we threw caution in the wind and completely forgot that like obligate anaerobes these individuals would never appreciate the fresh political air blowing across the country.
We completely forgot that as scions of the old political order they can only thrive in mischief. Indeed, they have employed all the dirty tricks in their odious book to cover each other`s muck. For that is what they know best-staying deep down under the rabbit`s fur. They have deliberately refrained from any kind of direct ideological challenge to the status quo. They prefer politics of appeasement and aggrandizement to the principles of democracy as enshrined in our constitution.
Take for instance those who have been quick at flaunting the term “sovereignty” as a smokescreen to avoiding justice. They have displayed vigor in seeking for a deferral and possibly a referral at a later date but they have largely been unwilling in demanding that the same suspects resign from their public offices in line with the requirement of our new constitution. The huge pot holes in their reasoning cannot be gainsaid. It is amazing at how they can conveniently forget that under the new constitution, a precedent has already been set. We have seen honorable Moses Wetang`ula, Henry Kosgei and William Ruto resign from their portfolios under circumstances less grievous. Any exception to this constitutional requirement is not only a case of double standards but an act of impunity as well.
I can see you shedding tears of despondency because our motherland is being treated to the verbal wallop of some sycophantic leaders. That the verbal hemorrhage of our leaders is too stupendous is an indication of the extent they are willing to go in propping up impunity. Indeed, some leaders have been heard saying that should one of the suspects be ineligible to contest the presidency come 2012 owing to The Hague trials then the presidential election must be postponed. This is balderdash.
To them, it matters less if the said suspect is found guilty as charged. They want to make us believe that the country will not move forward for the period such a person would be incarceration. Does it mean that such a person is more important than the sum total of all Kenyans? My fellow patriotic Kenyans, I take it that you are sincere, honest and brave enough to render a verdict according to your convictions, beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt.
To our departed patriots, let me assuage your feelings. We owe you the duty of safeguarding the well being of this great Nation. I assure you that the seeds of patriotism that you sow in us have germinated and we shall faithfully water them to fruition. Like Emma Goldman, we dare say that “We are but the atoms in the incessant human struggle towards the light that shines in the darkness—the Ideal of economic, political and spiritual liberation of mankind!” We shall surely have a victory for truth and justice over those standing in the way of our new constitutional order.
Monday, March 14, 2011
MASS ACTION USED AS A POTENT TOOL FOR DEMOCRATISATION AND NOT FOR MURDER AND PLUNDER.
Those of us who played a crucial role in the expansion of the democratic space in this country know very well that there is a huge gulf in terms of meaning between mass action on the one hand and mass murder and plunder on the other. We all know that these terms are not synonymous as some people want us to believe. Harping on such thinking does not only expose one`s ignorance but also insults the intelligence of true patriots. To true patriots, mass action has never been a call for citizens to take arms and rise against their fellow citizens. Mass action was and remains to be a potent tool used to force political regimes that are out of touch with the social and political realities of the day to wake up and smell the coffee. History is rich with examples of how mass action has been used in the liberation struggle the world over. In Kenya for example, it was largely responsible for the repeal of section 2A of the Kenya constitution in the early 1990s.
History also attests to the fact that individuals who are seemingly clothed in democratic garments and who were previously part of the impunity that was routed during the second liberation of this country do not understand what mass action means. For how can they understand mass action when they have all along stayed deep down under the rabbit`s fur? These are individuals who have nervously refrained from any kind of direct ideological challenge to the status quo. They have instead preferred politics of appeasement, aggrandizement and abandonment of the principle of democracy. To them, those of us who are incessant atoms of positive change are to be met with violence and mercilessly crushed to submission.
As part of the historical accident, some of those who helped perpetuate the undemocratic, illiberal, authoritarian and repressive political regime(s) were conscripted as change agents in the new political dispensation. However, it is said that old habits die hard. The same individuals found themselves suffocating under a bout of fresh air. For them to remain politically relevant they had to quickly find some form of mischief. The 2007 presidential election provided them with the much needed opportunity to unleash the terror that was part of their DNA. Since they were in two opposing political camps, each one thought that he had an opportunity to outdo the other. They both employed all the dirty tricks in the book to vanquish each other in order to sustain their selfish desires. Unfortunately, it is the electorate across the political divide that became the poor victims of their vicious war. These individuals discovered too late that as scions of a nearly dismembered political system their chances of survival lay in their coalescing together. Indeed, they gravitated towards each other. But for the reunification to be complete they had to shop around for a sacrificial lamb upon which to direct their ire.
They found the target of their misplaced anger in the PM. They have continually blamed the PM for being the architect of all their real and imaginary woes. Without any iota of evidence they have alleged that the PM double crossed them by colluding with the Waki commission, Ocampo, Obama (read as USA), France and even UK to fix them politically. They have since vowed to also vanquish him politically.
Perhaps these individuals imagine that we suffer from memory lapses. They think that we cannot recall that at the time when the International Community stepped up pressure to bring to an end this cycle of violence and impunity the same individuals successfully rallied legislators in parliament to twice reject attempts at establishing a local judicial mechanism to try the perpetrators of the 2007 PEV.
Then they said “We should not be Vague. Let us go to Hague.” Their wish was granted. They are now belatedly crying that Kenya is a sovereign state and that submitting to the Hague is akin to inviting back the colonizer. I dare say that this is balderdash.
These individuals must be told in no uncertain terms that any attempts to take this country to the political doldrums will be met with the full force of the law. It is therefore incumbent upon them to desist from whipping the emotions among their ethnic bases as this will further prove their culpability of the accusations leveled against them. They must know that ICC is a credible international court that will never grasp at shadows. It is also imprudent for these individuals to allow their political sycophants to issue remarks that have the potential to incite the public.
What else can one make of the statement by one MP that parliament will be forced to postpone the 2012 elections should one of the suspects not be eligible to contest the presidency come 2012 courtesy of the pending cases at the ICC? What if the said person is found guilty? Will his incarceration be the reason for the country being held at ransom? Does it mean that such an individual is more important than the sum total of all Kenyans? This is the height of political extremism. We cannot allow it to begin to show its ugly face again.
As the conscientious public we expect that those on whose behalf such remarks have been made to come not only to distance themselves from such recklessness but to also condemn it as well. Unfortunately, such incidents provide more reasons why the Hague process must go forth unhindered.
History also attests to the fact that individuals who are seemingly clothed in democratic garments and who were previously part of the impunity that was routed during the second liberation of this country do not understand what mass action means. For how can they understand mass action when they have all along stayed deep down under the rabbit`s fur? These are individuals who have nervously refrained from any kind of direct ideological challenge to the status quo. They have instead preferred politics of appeasement, aggrandizement and abandonment of the principle of democracy. To them, those of us who are incessant atoms of positive change are to be met with violence and mercilessly crushed to submission.
As part of the historical accident, some of those who helped perpetuate the undemocratic, illiberal, authoritarian and repressive political regime(s) were conscripted as change agents in the new political dispensation. However, it is said that old habits die hard. The same individuals found themselves suffocating under a bout of fresh air. For them to remain politically relevant they had to quickly find some form of mischief. The 2007 presidential election provided them with the much needed opportunity to unleash the terror that was part of their DNA. Since they were in two opposing political camps, each one thought that he had an opportunity to outdo the other. They both employed all the dirty tricks in the book to vanquish each other in order to sustain their selfish desires. Unfortunately, it is the electorate across the political divide that became the poor victims of their vicious war. These individuals discovered too late that as scions of a nearly dismembered political system their chances of survival lay in their coalescing together. Indeed, they gravitated towards each other. But for the reunification to be complete they had to shop around for a sacrificial lamb upon which to direct their ire.
They found the target of their misplaced anger in the PM. They have continually blamed the PM for being the architect of all their real and imaginary woes. Without any iota of evidence they have alleged that the PM double crossed them by colluding with the Waki commission, Ocampo, Obama (read as USA), France and even UK to fix them politically. They have since vowed to also vanquish him politically.
Perhaps these individuals imagine that we suffer from memory lapses. They think that we cannot recall that at the time when the International Community stepped up pressure to bring to an end this cycle of violence and impunity the same individuals successfully rallied legislators in parliament to twice reject attempts at establishing a local judicial mechanism to try the perpetrators of the 2007 PEV.
Then they said “We should not be Vague. Let us go to Hague.” Their wish was granted. They are now belatedly crying that Kenya is a sovereign state and that submitting to the Hague is akin to inviting back the colonizer. I dare say that this is balderdash.
These individuals must be told in no uncertain terms that any attempts to take this country to the political doldrums will be met with the full force of the law. It is therefore incumbent upon them to desist from whipping the emotions among their ethnic bases as this will further prove their culpability of the accusations leveled against them. They must know that ICC is a credible international court that will never grasp at shadows. It is also imprudent for these individuals to allow their political sycophants to issue remarks that have the potential to incite the public.
What else can one make of the statement by one MP that parliament will be forced to postpone the 2012 elections should one of the suspects not be eligible to contest the presidency come 2012 courtesy of the pending cases at the ICC? What if the said person is found guilty? Will his incarceration be the reason for the country being held at ransom? Does it mean that such an individual is more important than the sum total of all Kenyans? This is the height of political extremism. We cannot allow it to begin to show its ugly face again.
As the conscientious public we expect that those on whose behalf such remarks have been made to come not only to distance themselves from such recklessness but to also condemn it as well. Unfortunately, such incidents provide more reasons why the Hague process must go forth unhindered.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
KALONZO`S GRATUITOUS PROPHESY KEEPS HIM WAGGING HOPEFUL.
So Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka has said that come 2012, he will be in state house. Of course, not as comptroller or those other jobs whose occupiers have to constantly contend with the slaps, insults and tantrums from the most powerful woman found therein. No. He will be there as the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces of Kenya. This is to say that he will be the fourth President of the Republic of Kenya.
When he missed the presidency in 2007 by a wide margin, he embarked on a journey to endear himself to President Kibaki with a view to scoring crucial points in the ensuing succession politics. Noting Kalonzo`s loyalty, President Kibaki never hesitated to appoint him his chief errand boy. And true to his calling, Kalonzo has unquestioningly and faithfully run errands for President Kibaki sometimes at the risk of even Kalonzo`s own political supporters interpreting his behavior as consistently and dangerously taking a sycophantic slant.
Kalonzo has remained unbothered by such criticism. This is because he has always seen himself as sufficiently philanthropic as is demonstrated in his tireless work in aid of the Ocampo six. At the international level, he has undoubtedly cut a niche for himself as a master of shuttle diplomacy. Even though his efforts are yet to bear any fruits, we cannot begrudge him. Of course, we all know how Uncle Sam and the rest of the big boys dislike those who want to flaunt their diplomatic prowess in their faces. Nevertheless, suffice it to say that Kalonzo`s has demonstrated beyond any reasonable doubt that he can die for his “brother” and in politics such gestures rarely go unrewarded.
Given that those who have been summoned by the ICC will not be in position to have their names on the 2012 presidential ballot, it is incumbent upon the orphaned political turfs to look around for an heir apparent. I imagine that the VPs soothing dirges will neither be unfamiliar nor unacceptable to them. Surely, he will not be accused of shedding more tears than the bereaved. It is only ingrates and those with short memory spans who cannot reciprocate such a kind gesture. Kenyans are nowhere near such a description. This is why the VP is wagging hopeful that he will bag all the votes in these orphaned turfs. That is understandable. After all, in Africa don`t we say that “If death were not there, how else would the inheritor get his riches”?
But philanthropy is not the only quality that the VP has. The VPs religiosity stands unrivalled. It is no secret that the VP communicates with the gods in mediums completely out of the range of the ordinary minds. Given that Kenyans are notoriously religious he is sure to get votes from a huge chunk of the electorate. I guess you recall when he prophetically said in 2007 that he will pass in their midst and none will see him? The strange thing is that the prophecy never came to be. But none of us had the guts to question the gods` mouthpiece. May be the gods had some beef with the VP and that is why the prophecy was temporarily frozen. Who knows, may be the ice has since thawed and the VP will soon be matching to state house unseen as earlier prophesied. Perhaps this explains why the VP is re-energized and has even found time amid a tight shuttle diplomacy schedule to dust and adorn his prophetic regalia and traverse parts of the country prophesying that “his 2012 miraculous match to state house is unstoppable.”
But perhaps like me, when time is ripe you may find solace in the words of George Elliot (1819-1890) who said that “among all forms of mistakes, prophecy is the most gratuitous.” You see, with prophecy it is never important whether the prophet has none of the gentleman`s instincts when strutting about its fulfillment.
When he missed the presidency in 2007 by a wide margin, he embarked on a journey to endear himself to President Kibaki with a view to scoring crucial points in the ensuing succession politics. Noting Kalonzo`s loyalty, President Kibaki never hesitated to appoint him his chief errand boy. And true to his calling, Kalonzo has unquestioningly and faithfully run errands for President Kibaki sometimes at the risk of even Kalonzo`s own political supporters interpreting his behavior as consistently and dangerously taking a sycophantic slant.
Kalonzo has remained unbothered by such criticism. This is because he has always seen himself as sufficiently philanthropic as is demonstrated in his tireless work in aid of the Ocampo six. At the international level, he has undoubtedly cut a niche for himself as a master of shuttle diplomacy. Even though his efforts are yet to bear any fruits, we cannot begrudge him. Of course, we all know how Uncle Sam and the rest of the big boys dislike those who want to flaunt their diplomatic prowess in their faces. Nevertheless, suffice it to say that Kalonzo`s has demonstrated beyond any reasonable doubt that he can die for his “brother” and in politics such gestures rarely go unrewarded.
Given that those who have been summoned by the ICC will not be in position to have their names on the 2012 presidential ballot, it is incumbent upon the orphaned political turfs to look around for an heir apparent. I imagine that the VPs soothing dirges will neither be unfamiliar nor unacceptable to them. Surely, he will not be accused of shedding more tears than the bereaved. It is only ingrates and those with short memory spans who cannot reciprocate such a kind gesture. Kenyans are nowhere near such a description. This is why the VP is wagging hopeful that he will bag all the votes in these orphaned turfs. That is understandable. After all, in Africa don`t we say that “If death were not there, how else would the inheritor get his riches”?
But philanthropy is not the only quality that the VP has. The VPs religiosity stands unrivalled. It is no secret that the VP communicates with the gods in mediums completely out of the range of the ordinary minds. Given that Kenyans are notoriously religious he is sure to get votes from a huge chunk of the electorate. I guess you recall when he prophetically said in 2007 that he will pass in their midst and none will see him? The strange thing is that the prophecy never came to be. But none of us had the guts to question the gods` mouthpiece. May be the gods had some beef with the VP and that is why the prophecy was temporarily frozen. Who knows, may be the ice has since thawed and the VP will soon be matching to state house unseen as earlier prophesied. Perhaps this explains why the VP is re-energized and has even found time amid a tight shuttle diplomacy schedule to dust and adorn his prophetic regalia and traverse parts of the country prophesying that “his 2012 miraculous match to state house is unstoppable.”
But perhaps like me, when time is ripe you may find solace in the words of George Elliot (1819-1890) who said that “among all forms of mistakes, prophecy is the most gratuitous.” You see, with prophecy it is never important whether the prophet has none of the gentleman`s instincts when strutting about its fulfillment.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
THE ART OF WRESTLING A PIG IN A MUDDY POOL.
Over the last couple of weeks, the public, herein referred to as the audience, has been treated to a never ending contest titled “The art of wrestling a pig in a muddy pool.” For one to be eligible to participate in this contest one needs to sign a consent form indicating that he is an adult of sound mind and that he has entered the contest on his own volition.
The theatre of this absurdity is the expansive fields of the country called “Nyake” which is littered with countless barnyards. Note that some of the barnyards have a striking semblance with Kenyan political parties. These barnyards have hostile and squeaky pigs lurking therein. They are the kind of pigs that would make a mockery of the pigs in George Orwell`s “Animal Farm.”
The common denominator among these pigs is that they have a penchant for muddy streams and piggy political adventure. The squeaking gets even louder as these pigs break the perimeter fence and stray into neighboring barnyards where they mingle with those that have similar orientations. They can be seen darting across the expansive fields in search of muddy pools where they taunt humans for a muddy contest.
The rules of this contest are fairly simple. Rule number one is that the prospective human participant must be willing to enjoy the muddy fight at least as much as the pig would. The longer the muddy contest the merrier it is for the pigs.
Rule number two states that for purposes of ensuring the longevity of the muddy contest, the prospective participant must not carry the detergent known as “Kibunja” into the muddy pools for the pigs know too well that “Kibunja`s” pungent smell is not good for their snorting and will thus bring the muddy contest to a premature end.
Rule number three is that the audience, will measure your success not only in terms of how fast you scoop mud to smear the muddy pigs but also how clever you are to avoid the pigs muddying you. Quite a task, huh!
Rule number four is that the participant must ensure that he has plenty of time to have a good muddy shower and a hearty laugh at himself. Perhaps the participant may just be in time to discover the fact that mud purifies the pig`s emotions. Call it some sought of a piggy catharsis. In this regard, the participant is specifically warned not to be surprised if the pigs soak him thoroughly in mud. Neither should the participant be surprised if the pigs squeal, or play dirty, or run amok or even run around in circles, small and large, tirelessly.
The good thing is that the participant will perhaps just be on right course to discover the import of the old age aphorisms that “When you fight with a pig you both get dirty and that the pig likes it” or that “you got to have a swine to show you where the truffles are.”
The trickier part is that the participant is also strongly advised to be kind and gentle. Otherwise 'the audience' will judge him and not the pigs. They already feel sorry for the pigs for wallowing in the mud, even before the contest starts. So you have to enter the muddy pool with caution - if at all.
It will also be worthwhile for the willing participant to remember that these pigs may be hurting inside, sometimes somewhere quite deep and painful...this explains why sometimes they squeak without knowing it.
After the muddying experience rule number five comes in handy. It states that when the pigs taunt you to come back for more mud wrestling contests- (as they are wont to) - make sure it is you who decides whether to 'go back for more' – and not the pigs because they (pigs) have absolutely nothing to lose.
The theatre of this absurdity is the expansive fields of the country called “Nyake” which is littered with countless barnyards. Note that some of the barnyards have a striking semblance with Kenyan political parties. These barnyards have hostile and squeaky pigs lurking therein. They are the kind of pigs that would make a mockery of the pigs in George Orwell`s “Animal Farm.”
The common denominator among these pigs is that they have a penchant for muddy streams and piggy political adventure. The squeaking gets even louder as these pigs break the perimeter fence and stray into neighboring barnyards where they mingle with those that have similar orientations. They can be seen darting across the expansive fields in search of muddy pools where they taunt humans for a muddy contest.
The rules of this contest are fairly simple. Rule number one is that the prospective human participant must be willing to enjoy the muddy fight at least as much as the pig would. The longer the muddy contest the merrier it is for the pigs.
Rule number two states that for purposes of ensuring the longevity of the muddy contest, the prospective participant must not carry the detergent known as “Kibunja” into the muddy pools for the pigs know too well that “Kibunja`s” pungent smell is not good for their snorting and will thus bring the muddy contest to a premature end.
Rule number three is that the audience, will measure your success not only in terms of how fast you scoop mud to smear the muddy pigs but also how clever you are to avoid the pigs muddying you. Quite a task, huh!
Rule number four is that the participant must ensure that he has plenty of time to have a good muddy shower and a hearty laugh at himself. Perhaps the participant may just be in time to discover the fact that mud purifies the pig`s emotions. Call it some sought of a piggy catharsis. In this regard, the participant is specifically warned not to be surprised if the pigs soak him thoroughly in mud. Neither should the participant be surprised if the pigs squeal, or play dirty, or run amok or even run around in circles, small and large, tirelessly.
The good thing is that the participant will perhaps just be on right course to discover the import of the old age aphorisms that “When you fight with a pig you both get dirty and that the pig likes it” or that “you got to have a swine to show you where the truffles are.”
The trickier part is that the participant is also strongly advised to be kind and gentle. Otherwise 'the audience' will judge him and not the pigs. They already feel sorry for the pigs for wallowing in the mud, even before the contest starts. So you have to enter the muddy pool with caution - if at all.
It will also be worthwhile for the willing participant to remember that these pigs may be hurting inside, sometimes somewhere quite deep and painful...this explains why sometimes they squeak without knowing it.
After the muddying experience rule number five comes in handy. It states that when the pigs taunt you to come back for more mud wrestling contests- (as they are wont to) - make sure it is you who decides whether to 'go back for more' – and not the pigs because they (pigs) have absolutely nothing to lose.
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